The Importance of Marriage.

As many readers know, I’m about to get married. Today. Yes after almost 19 years, Mike and I are going to make it official. As my friend Larry Benjamin said to me yesterday – ‘we’ve come a long way.’ Sure there is more to do, but that doesn’t mean we haven’t achieved anything.

When Maryland agree to recognize all lawful marriages – including same sex marriages – from other states, we effectively had marriage equality in Maryland, Mike and I made a conscious decision not to take advantage of the ruling, preferring to wait until we could get married in the state where we lived. Perhaps it was silly, but it made today that much more special knowing that the people of Maryland  agreed it was wrong to deny us the right to get married. Continue reading The Importance of Marriage.

Gay Marriage In Maryland – Part One

This is going to be a two part post. Today, in Part One, a more positive post.  Tomorrow’s will deal with an editorial in the Washington Post by someone who made – in my opinion – some ridiculous arguments. But today will be non-confrontational.

Today there was a fund raiser for Equality Maryland – the lobbying group trying to get the referendum on the gay marriage bill to pass.  Originally it was supposed to be a screening of a movie with some comments by the State Attorney General, Doug Gansler.  Attorney General Gansler was one the first high profile elected official to support same sex marriage in Maryland. His office took the position that Maryland HAD to recognize same sex marriages from other states under the state constitution.  That position was recently upheld by the courts in Maryland. By the time we arrived, the Governor, the Lt. Governor and the Congressman from that district all agreed to speak.  The event raised a fair bit of money, though probably not enough given how much money is being spent by opponents. Continue reading Gay Marriage In Maryland – Part One

One Person Can Make A Difference For Gay Rights.

What prompted this post is a story about Chick-fil-A possibly ending it’s support of anti-gay marriage groups.  According to this story, Chick-fil-A has agreed to stop funding anti-gay—which means anti-gay marriage as well since those are mostly one and the same—at least that is what Chicago Alderman Joe Moreno, who has been fighting the construction of a Chick-fil-A in Chicago, said today.

I hope he’s correct, the company didn’t formally agree with the Alderman’s announcement, but I’d say that after 10 months of fighting Chick-fil-A and all the success he’s had, he must feel pretty confident he won for him to now support the construction of the store.

Not that it matters, but I don’t think Alderman Moreno is gay. That he has taken this stand is all the more remarkable given he’s a newly elected official.  Stands like his, that welcome the adversity that come with them, deserve to be acknowledged.  For what little it’s worth – Thank you Joe Moreno!

In a similar story, what about Brendon Ayanbadejo?  He’s a straight pro-football player for the Baltimore Ravens who public spoke out in favor of gay marriage in Maryland. This article in the NY Times talks about where his life views came from.  For this man to do this to help people like my partner and I who don’t have the ‘bully pulpit’ that comes with celebrity status is astounding. If you read the articles you’ll see where he took a lot of crap, had people call him gay, ask him in the locker room when he’d be coming out as a gay, it would have been so easy for him to cave in and shut up, but he kept at it, even chiding President Obama for not supporting gay marriage.  Thank you Brendon Ayanbadejo!

One person can make a difference.

Marriage Equality In Maryland – Vote Yes In November to Question 6!

Yesterday I suggested that authors, like businesses, need to take a more measured approach when offering their opinions. A wise person who has been generous with his insight in the past, asked me, what good is the first amendment if we fail to exercise it by self censoring ourselves.  He further said that if something was near and dear to my heart before I began published a book, I ought to continue to speak out for it after the book came out. – Thank you Podga.

That said I don’t know that I totally agree in that my online persona is not me in real life. In real life, using my true name, I can and do voice my opinions on things important to me – like the Gay Marriage fight in Maryland, where my partner and I are raising our 11 month old daughter.  But one thing that I came to realize, while taking a side on the gay marriage debate might not be the best thing to do for Dan Caty and Chik-fil-A, it will have zero effect if I do it.

For those that don’t know, Maryland passed a bill in the spring to allow gay and lesbian couples to legally marry. In an odd quirk, the state recognizes gay marriages from other states, but won’t allow its citizens to marry in their own state. This came about when the Maryland Supreme Court refused to expand the definition of marriage to gay and lesbian couple, stating that ought to be something the legislator should do, but they found that state law required them to give full faith and credit to ALL out of state marriages.  So in effect, every gay couple in Maryland could go to DC, get married and Maryland would recognize it the same as if the ceremony had been done in Maryland. Practically, Maryland already allows gay marriage, you just can’t have the ceremony performed in Maryland. How such tortured logic can come from the ‘highest’ court in the state is baffling.

The law that passed in the spring is, however, up for a referendum in Nov.  The wording is somewhat different than in past referendums in other states on the gay marriage issue.  In other referendums, the vote was to redefine marriage as only a man and a woman. Maryland’s referendum is much simpler. Do you want the gay marriage bill to remain a law – yes or no.  A straight up referendum on the law enacted.

Some say this will help the law remain in effect because past battles a yes vote meant you were in favor of restricting marriage.  I think that’s wishful thinking. If you’re counting on  people not reading the question or being too stupid to understand it to win, that doesn’t say much about the strength of your position.  Rather I think people are able to figure out – yes, means keep the law – no, means overturn it.  Simple right?

Having cleared up all lingering confusion, if you’re reading this and you live in Maryland – VOTE YES ON QUESTION 6.

If you have family or friends in Maryland and you can exert any influence over said friend or relative, urge, cajole, shame, whatever it takes, to get them to VOTE YES ON QUESTION 6.

The vote is close, but current polls suggest the referendum will pass and the law will remain. I would dearly love for Maryland to become the first state to uphold the gay marriage law in a statewide referendum. Let’s make it happen!